God*,
If you are up there, which I doubt, I am opting out of your skewed, fucked up system of reward and punishment. I'm tired of jumping through stupid ass hoops created (in my mind) by people to control other people. I want nothing to do with heaven or hell but if you're there, and you want to send me to hell, fine. But until judgement day comes, stay the fuck out of my way. I will make my own way through this world, which I find to be a very beautiful place, people and all, except for the fact that your followers are making everyone else miserable. If we want redemption, we know where to find you. Otherwise, fuck off. Okay?
Satan*,
If you are down there, which I doubt, stop being so smug. I have no time for your bullshit anymore than I can tolerate the invisible man in the sky. I may end up in hell (if it exists, which I doubt), but until then, just fuck off. If I was going to serve a supernatural being, it wouldn't be your lame ass.
- Regis
*I don't believe in God or Satan anymore, but I don't claim to know everything, so just in case, these notes had to be written.
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