I Love The Star Wars Holiday Special

When Star Wars (now known as "Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope") hit theaters in 1977, my life was changed forever. I became an 8 year old "Star Wars nut" to quote my mother directly. I had never seen anything so wonderful, and filled with so much hot laser death (Yeah, I know lasers aren't actually hot, but just go with me on this). The opening sequence blew me away; it was the "bad guys" that did it. The Stormtroopers blasted their way in and slaughtered/captured the rebels (who were guilty of theft & treason, I might add), followed by the coolest villain I had ever seen, Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith. Those "armored guys", as I thought of them at that moment, made my young mind reel with questions: Were they robots? Were they men in armored uniforms? Were they aliens under their helmets? And what about the robots (I now know they're called droids)? Were they real? They had to be! See-Threepio had wires in his midsection. If he was a man, he wouldn't have wires for a midsection. And Chewbacca had to be real. You could see the roof of his mouth when he roared! He had to be a bigfoot or something that the film makers captured, tamed and taught to act. There was no other answer. Despite my guillible young mind, or maybe because of it, by the end of the movie, I was hooked on this thing called Star Wars. But I wasn't alone. It seemed that everyone was hooked.

Just to educate all of the young people who might be reading this (yeah I know, dream on, or whatever the young people say), back in the 70's, there was no internet. There was no way of knowing that more Star Wars films were coming. Not for me and my friends anyways. We wouldn't know about "The Empire Strikes Back" until we saw the commercial on television in 1980. Until then, all we had were our memories (no VCRs, Laser Discs, DVDs, or video files back then), and our bragging rights for who had seen the movie more times. Sadly, I only saw it once in theaters, and that was at the El Rancho Drive-In in Sparks, Nevada (which is still in business as of July 2011). Star Wars had ended with everything pretty much neatly tied up by the Rebel Alliance, so there was no reason to expect more. At least for me anyways.

And then, in November of 1978, something awesome happened. My cousin and I were sitting in front of the tv when we saw a commercial for the Star Wars Holiday Special. What? A Star Wars Holiday Special? We lost our minds. Dignity? Who needs it? We freaked out. A Star Wars Holiday Special! Despite the fact that it was a couple weeks away, we begged my parents to let us watch it. Once they got all the facts, which took considerable time to decipher through all of our young enthusiasm, they agreed. And so, two weeks later, my cousin and I were sitting in front of the television, waiting as patiently as we could for what was sure to be television magic. And then it came on. We sat, completely spellbound through every segment, refusing to speak except during commercial breaks. And during those breaks came a flurry of "Did you see..." and "Wasn't that cool when..." moments.

It was awesome seeing Chewbacca's family, and his home, which to this day I still wish I lived in. Han Solo was there, and Luke, Leia, Artoo, and See-Threepio all made an appearance. And yes, Darth Vader & some Stormtroopers too (Vader's scenes were unused footage from Star Wars that was re-dubbed). And then it was gone. My cousin and I hoped every year afterwards to see it again, but it never returned. We thought it would be like "A Charlie Brown Christmas" or "Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer", re-appearing every year to be enjoyed by kids over and over again. But it never happened.

(Chewbacca's awesome house)

Years passed, and "Empire" & "Jedi" came along, cementing my status as a Star Wars fan forever. With Star Wars gone, I filled my life with other things. I was growing up, and without Star Wars, I had no direction. So I moved on to the things I thought adults should be concerned with. Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll! As far as the "Sex", it was with myself; no woman would touch me until I was 28 (Take that, Bembridge Scholars!). My "Drug" was marijuana, something I wish I had never used and at other times I have to admit it did make me look at the world in a whole new way. The "Rock & Roll" was Billy Idol, Motley Crue, Judas Priest, & Alice Cooper, among others.

It was years later when I decided to quit "the pot" and go straight. Truth was, I was bored with getting high. I wasn't doing it for fun anymore. It was a habit now, and like cigarettes, it was just a waste of money at that point. In a strange twist, after quitting "the pot", I got hooked on smoking cigarettes. Go figure. But I quit those too, after only a year of use. It was during this new 'straight' time that I discovered something else. I was lying on the couch, watching Comedy Central, when a show came on that I had never heard of; Mystery Science Theater 3000. I thought the robots were cool, and Joel was likeable, but the silhouettes at the bottom of the screen were distracting me from watching the movie. After repeated viewings, I finally "got" it. The show was brilliant! My friends and I had often sat and made fun of movies in the same fashion. We never intended to, it just kind of happened when the movie failed to 'grab' us. MST3K became my new show.

As years passed, I grew up (sort of), and evolved into a big toy nerd. No, I'm not ashamed. Not only do I have awesome toys, but despite the rumor about toy nerds, I still get laid whenever I want. Why? Because I have a wife. Yes, you can be a toy nerd and still find love. And I'm not alone either. There are alot of guys like me who enjoy toys AND women. You can have both!

And then in 2008, while working at a famous bookstore chain, I mentioned the Star Wars Holiday Special to another Star Wars fan/customer, only to be surprised that he had never heard of it. So I directed him to the internet. That night, alone at the computer, I decided to look up the Holiday Special myself, hoping to maybe find it, or at least some of it, on YouTube. A few keystrokes and there it was! So I began watching it for the second time in my life, the years between 1978 & 2008 completely forgotten. I was 9 years old again. But what was this? Was this show really the same show I remembered so fondly from my youth? This show was so bad! Wookies talking for eight minutes and no subtitles? Crazy Dejarik table circus acts? Wookie porn? Did I really like this 30 years ago?

I was stunned. How could something I remembered so fondly be so bad? And then I remembered Waterworld. People said it was bad and I loved that. Howard the Duck? Same thing. And what about Hero At Large, starring John Ritter? I loved that too! And Mazes & Monsters starring Tom Hanks! If society had decreed all of these films to be bad, then I must have bad taste. Or maybe society was crazy. Maybe I was the normal one and everyone else was crazy. I tried to convince myself, but I had to face facts; I was the anomaly. I had to admit that the Star Wars Holiday Special was bad. It was NOT awesome. It was NOT cool. It sucked. BIG time. It was an abomination with the Star Wars name. And as I tried to push my shame into the farthest reaches of my mind in an effort to forget it, something magical happened.

By 2008, MST3K had ended it's ten year run, and the stars had moved on to other things. Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy, & Bill Corbett produced some DVDs as "The Film Crew", where they riffed bad movies in the spirit of MST3K but without the puppets. And then came Rifftrax. Now you could buy riffs online and sync them up to your own DVDs, and thus enjoy hearing Mike, Kevin, & Bill mocking the films that they would never have been able to riff during their years at MST3K. Even my beloved Star Wars!

The truth was, I had grown up. By 2008, I had watched the Star Wars trilogy hundreds of times, and had found alot of things to mock during my repeated viewings. I didn't fault the guys at Rifftrax for their mockery. I was guilty too. And the guys at Rifftrax were hilarious. It was on their website (Rifftrax.com) that I discovered that they had made a riff for The Star Wars Holiday special. I HAD to hear it. Luckily a friend already had it, so he loaned me a copy and I went online, synced up the Rifftrax, and watched the Holiday Special for the third time in my life. The next night, I watched it again. Every night for a week I watched the Holiday Special with the brilliantly funny Rifftrax commentary. And something magical happened again.

I began to enjoy the Holiday Special. I enjoyed it with the Rifftrax commentary, but I was beginning to enjoy it even without it. Instead of seeing it as an extension of the serious Star Wars universe, I began to see it as a Star Wars themed variety show, which it really was is if you think about it. It has musical numbers, comedy sketches, & some drama, all wrapped up in a Star Wars theme. There are talented actors like Harvey Korman (performing not one but three different roles) & Art Carney, the singing talents of Dihann Carroll & Jefferson Starship, and Bea Arthur as Ackmena, a tough, singing cantina bartender. Not only was I thinking about the show on it's own merits, I managed to seperate the musical tracks from the rest of the film so I could put them on my MP3 player. And I listen to them all, especially Dihann Carroll as Mermeia singing "This Minute".

Now I see the Star Wars Holiday Special as a wacky variety show, filled with funny moments such as Chewie's father Itchy enjoying some Wookie porn (Dihann Carroll as Mermeia singing "This Minute"), Harvey Korman as Chef Gormaanda (the Star Wars equivalent of a modern TV chef), Harvey Korman (yes, again) as a defective Amorphian Instructor with Max Headroom-like appeal years before MTV even existed, and Art Carney bringing Ed Norton-like character to his role as Trader Saundan. We get to see an animated segment that modern animation snobs would only scoff at due to it's primitive animated style, and during that segment we get to see Boba Fett for the first time. And at one point in the show, we get treated to the beloved Wilhelm Scream when Han Solo and Chewie rescue Lumpy from an angry Stormtrooper.

Is the Star Wars Holiday Special four-star entertainment? No. Will it ever be put on DVD? Not likely, George Lucas hates it. But to be honest, I'd rather watch it than any of the Star Wars prequels. Why? Well for one, I'm an anomaly. Two, it's a piece of my childhood. And three, it's a part of Star Wars history that, despite Lucas' desire to pretend that it never happened, will always be Star Wars to me, at least in the spirit it was made in. I really hope that one day, George Lucas gets desperate enough to accept and release the Holiday Special on DVD. A beautiful, sparklingly clear Blu-Ray special edition called "The Star Wars Holiday Special: Special Holiday Edition" with Life Day greeting cards inside. If the Holiday Special Boba Fett can get an action figure, then all is not lost. Hey, I can dream, can't I?

-End