Brain Matter

I Love The Star Wars Holiday Special

2011-07-07T17:34:00.000-07:00

When Star Wars (now known as "Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope") hit theaters in 1977, my life was changed forever. I became an 8 year old "Star Wars nut" to quote my mother directly. I had never seen anything so wonderful, and filled with so much hot laser death (Yeah, I know lasers aren't actually hot, but just go with me on this). The opening sequence blew me away; it was the "bad guys" that did it. The Stormtroopers blasted their way in and slaughtered/captured the rebels (who were guilty of theft & treason, I might add), followed by the coolest villain I had ever seen, Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith. Those "armored guys", as I thought of them at that moment, made my young mind reel with questions: Were they robots? Were they men in armored uniforms? Were they aliens under their helmets? And what about the robots (I now know they're called droids)? Were they real? They had to be! See-Threepio had wires in his midsection. If he was a man, he wouldn't have wires for a midsection. And Chewbacca had to be real. You could see the roof of his mouth when he roared! He had to be a bigfoot or something that the film makers captured, tamed and taught to act. There was no other answer. Despite my guillible young mind, or maybe because of it, by the end of the movie, I was hooked on this thing called Star Wars. But I wasn't alone. It seemed that everyone was hooked.

Just to educate all of the young people who might be reading this (yeah I know, dream on, or whatever the young people say), back in the 70's, there was no internet. There was no way of knowing that more Star Wars films were coming. Not for me and my friends anyways. We wouldn't know about "The Empire Strikes Back" until we saw the commercial on television in 1980. Until then, all we had were our memories (no VCRs, Laser Discs, DVDs, or video files back then), and our bragging rights for who had seen the movie more times. Sadly, I only saw it once in theaters, and that was at the El Rancho Drive-In in Sparks, Nevada (which is still in business as of July 2011). Star Wars had ended with everything pretty much neatly tied up by the Rebel Alliance, so there was no reason to expect more. At least for me anyways.

And then, in November of 1978, something awesome happened. My cousin and I were sitting in front of the tv when we saw a commercial for the Star Wars Holiday Special. What? A Star Wars Holiday Special? We lost our minds. Dignity? Who needs it? We freaked out. A Star Wars Holiday Special! Despite the fact that it was a couple weeks away, we begged my parents to let us watch it. Once they got all the facts, which took considerable time to decipher through all of our young enthusiasm, they agreed. And so, two weeks later, my cousin and I were sitting in front of the television, waiting as patiently as we could for what was sure to be television magic. And then it came on. We sat, completely spellbound through every segment, refusing to speak except during commercial breaks. And during those breaks came a flurry of "Did you see..." and "Wasn't that cool when..." moments.

It was awesome seeing Chewbacca's family, and his home, which to this day I still wish I lived in. Han Solo was there, and Luke, Leia, Artoo, and See-Threepio all made an appearance. And yes, Darth Vader & some Stormtroopers too (Vader's scenes were unused footage from Star Wars that was re-dubbed). And then it was gone. My cousin and I hoped every year afterwards to see it again, but it never returned. We thought it would be like "A Charlie Brown Christmas" or "Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer", re-appearing every year to be enjoyed by kids over and over again. But it never happened.

(Chewbacca's awesome house)

Years passed, and "Empire" & "Jedi" came along, cementing my status as a Star Wars fan forever. With Star Wars gone, I filled my life with other things. I was growing up, and without Star Wars, I had no direction. So I moved on to the things I thought adults should be concerned with. Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll! As far as the "Sex", it was with myself; no woman would touch me until I was 28 (Take that, Bembridge Scholars!). My "Drug" was marijuana, something I wish I had never used and at other times I have to admit it did make me look at the world in a whole new way. The "Rock & Roll" was Billy Idol, Motley Crue, Judas Priest, & Alice Cooper, among others.

It was years later when I decided to quit "the pot" and go straight. Truth was, I was bored with getting high. I wasn't doing it for fun anymore. It was a habit now, and like cigarettes, it was just a waste of money at that point. In a strange twist, after quitting "the pot", I got hooked on smoking cigarettes. Go figure. But I quit those too, after only a year of use. It was during this new 'straight' time that I discovered something else. I was lying on the couch, watching Comedy Central, when a show came on that I had never heard of; Mystery Science Theater 3000. I thought the robots were cool, and Joel was likeable, but the silhouettes at the bottom of the screen were distracting me from watching the movie. After repeated viewings, I finally "got" it. The show was brilliant! My friends and I had often sat and made fun of movies in the same fashion. We never intended to, it just kind of happened when the movie failed to 'grab' us. MST3K became my new show.

As years passed, I grew up (sort of), and evolved into a big toy nerd. No, I'm not ashamed. Not only do I have awesome toys, but despite the rumor about toy nerds, I still get laid whenever I want. Why? Because I have a wife. Yes, you can be a toy nerd and still find love. And I'm not alone either. There are alot of guys like me who enjoy toys AND women. You can have both!

And then in 2008, while working at a famous bookstore chain, I mentioned the Star Wars Holiday Special to another Star Wars fan/customer, only to be surprised that he had never heard of it. So I directed him to the internet. That night, alone at the computer, I decided to look up the Holiday Special myself, hoping to maybe find it, or at least some of it, on YouTube. A few keystrokes and there it was! So I began watching it for the second time in my life, the years between 1978 & 2008 completely forgotten. I was 9 years old again. But what was this? Was this show really the same show I remembered so fondly from my youth? This show was so bad! Wookies talking for eight minutes and no subtitles? Crazy Dejarik table circus acts? Wookie porn? Did I really like this 30 years ago?

I was stunned. How could something I remembered so fondly be so bad? And then I remembered Waterworld. People said it was bad and I loved that. Howard the Duck? Same thing. And what about Hero At Large, starring John Ritter? I loved that too! And Mazes & Monsters starring Tom Hanks! If society had decreed all of these films to be bad, then I must have bad taste. Or maybe society was crazy. Maybe I was the normal one and everyone else was crazy. I tried to convince myself, but I had to face facts; I was the anomaly. I had to admit that the Star Wars Holiday Special was bad. It was NOT awesome. It was NOT cool. It sucked. BIG time. It was an abomination with the Star Wars name. And as I tried to push my shame into the farthest reaches of my mind in an effort to forget it, something magical happened.

By 2008, MST3K had ended it's ten year run, and the stars had moved on to other things. Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy, & Bill Corbett produced some DVDs as "The Film Crew", where they riffed bad movies in the spirit of MST3K but without the puppets. And then came Rifftrax. Now you could buy riffs online and sync them up to your own DVDs, and thus enjoy hearing Mike, Kevin, & Bill mocking the films that they would never have been able to riff during their years at MST3K. Even my beloved Star Wars!

The truth was, I had grown up. By 2008, I had watched the Star Wars trilogy hundreds of times, and had found alot of things to mock during my repeated viewings. I didn't fault the guys at Rifftrax for their mockery. I was guilty too. And the guys at Rifftrax were hilarious. It was on their website (Rifftrax.com) that I discovered that they had made a riff for The Star Wars Holiday special. I HAD to hear it. Luckily a friend already had it, so he loaned me a copy and I went online, synced up the Rifftrax, and watched the Holiday Special for the third time in my life. The next night, I watched it again. Every night for a week I watched the Holiday Special with the brilliantly funny Rifftrax commentary. And something magical happened again.

I began to enjoy the Holiday Special. I enjoyed it with the Rifftrax commentary, but I was beginning to enjoy it even without it. Instead of seeing it as an extension of the serious Star Wars universe, I began to see it as a Star Wars themed variety show, which it really was is if you think about it. It has musical numbers, comedy sketches, & some drama, all wrapped up in a Star Wars theme. There are talented actors like Harvey Korman (performing not one but three different roles) & Art Carney, the singing talents of Dihann Carroll & Jefferson Starship, and Bea Arthur as Ackmena, a tough, singing cantina bartender. Not only was I thinking about the show on it's own merits, I managed to seperate the musical tracks from the rest of the film so I could put them on my MP3 player. And I listen to them all, especially Dihann Carroll as Mermeia singing "This Minute".

Now I see the Star Wars Holiday Special as a wacky variety show, filled with funny moments such as Chewie's father Itchy enjoying some Wookie porn (Dihann Carroll as Mermeia singing "This Minute"), Harvey Korman as Chef Gormaanda (the Star Wars equivalent of a modern TV chef), Harvey Korman (yes, again) as a defective Amorphian Instructor with Max Headroom-like appeal years before MTV even existed, and Art Carney bringing Ed Norton-like character to his role as Trader Saundan. We get to see an animated segment that modern animation snobs would only scoff at due to it's primitive animated style, and during that segment we get to see Boba Fett for the first time. And at one point in the show, we get treated to the beloved Wilhelm Scream when Han Solo and Chewie rescue Lumpy from an angry Stormtrooper.

Is the Star Wars Holiday Special four-star entertainment? No. Will it ever be put on DVD? Not likely, George Lucas hates it. But to be honest, I'd rather watch it than any of the Star Wars prequels. Why? Well for one, I'm an anomaly. Two, it's a piece of my childhood. And three, it's a part of Star Wars history that, despite Lucas' desire to pretend that it never happened, will always be Star Wars to me, at least in the spirit it was made in. I really hope that one day, George Lucas gets desperate enough to accept and release the Holiday Special on DVD. A beautiful, sparklingly clear Blu-Ray special edition called "The Star Wars Hoiday Special: Special Holiday Edition" with Life Day greeting cards inside. If the Holiday Special Boba Fett can get an action figure, then all is not lost. Hey, I can dream, can't I?

-End

Braids & The Kid (By Doc Drako)

2011-07-07T11:50:00.001-07:00

The third of Doc Drako's Mego stories. (Braids finds himself in a strange new place and wants out. Can he get back home?)

How To View The Story:
1 - Click The Picture
2 - Click Slideshow (slideshow is listed on the left)
3 - Pause the slideshow
4 - Click the arrows to advance to the next page at your leisure
5 - Enjoy!

Monkey See, Monkey Die (By Doc Drako)

2011-07-07T11:48:00.000-07:00

Monkey See, Monkey Die!

The second of my friend Doc Drako's Mego stories, and another favorite. (Some terrorist apes take the Mayor and his wife hostage. Can the S.W.A.T. team save them? Or will they need the help of more powerful persons?)

Jet Jungle vs The Hand (By Doc Drako)

2011-07-07T11:47:00.000-07:00

Jet Jungle vs The Hand

My friend, Doc Drako, decided to delete his blogs, so I asked to post some of his stuff here. This story is one of my favorites from his blog. (Jet Jungle, South Africa's own Superhero, uncovers a mystery when he stops a robbery in progress. Can he figure out the secret of The Hand?)

Mego Ads

2011-07-07T11:46:00.001-07:00

I grew up with comics and I even enjoyed the ads. Here are some ads that feature Megos that I found in some of my comics. (click a pic, then click "Show Original" on the bottom left, then click pic again to get a really good look.)

This ad is obviously mistaken as it refers to the Megos as "dolls". Apparently, the term "action figure" didn't fit on the ad.

Again we see the term "dolls". Girls play with dolls. These are action figures. Ken is a doll. Batman is an action figure. Ken gets no action, which is why he's a "doll". Batman gets all the action. See where I'm going here? I think you do.

Here's a cool ad for "Batmania". More Megos and the "New" Green Arrowcar! How cool is that?

Advertisement (By Doc Drako)

2011-07-07T00:54:00.001-07:00

Women Can't Resist The Savage Power Of Nature!

You'll Be Lord Of The Jungle When You

Bring Out The Animal Inside You With Animal

The New Fragrance By (cornelius)

Advertisment (By Doc Drako)

2011-07-07T00:53:00.001-07:00

From And Now A Wor...

From the twisted mind of Doc Drako, comes a hygiene ad for the 21st Century. (After you click the picture, click Fullscreen, Pause the slideshow, and scroll through the ad at your leisure.) Enjoy!

GI Joe: Countdown For Zartan

2011-07-07T00:04:00.000-07:00

Let me start by saying that I am a big fan of therossman.com and especially of his articles on GI Joe. It was those articles that inspired me to write this blog. Since the GI Joe movie is out, I thought I would re-watch the old episodes and see what strikes me as odd or funny after so many years. I decided to skip the Mini Series' since therossman.com has already commented on them quite sufficiently.

The first episode I watched was "Countdown For Zartan" written by Christy Marx. I remember this episode well, but I had forgotten all of the stuff that comes off as plain ridiculous. Well, either I had forgotten it, or I supressed the memory. Anyways, let's get started. (NOTE: If you need a better look at the pictures, just click on them.)

*******

- As the episode opens, the "foreboding music" kicks in right away. We zoom in on a hidden Cobra base in the middle of a jungle somewhere. The problem is that it's not hidden at all. The point is to make the camouflaged base look exactly like the surrounding jungle. Cobra failed big time. I can tell right away that someone is trying to hide something. The cool Cobra pyramid base is a nice touch though.

(The Hidden Base...Sort of)

(Cool Cobra Pyramid Base)

*******

- Cobra Commander is letting the Dreadnoks train the new recruits? I'm sure they have terrorist experience, but come on. There has to be someone more qualified than the Dreadnoks. Even Zartan would have been a better choice. Then again, Cobra Commander has never made the best decisions.

(The Dreadnoks & The New Recruits)

("Destroy the foundation and the rest will come crashing down.")

("Use tracer ammo.")

("Plastic explosives are harmless unless you add a detonator.")
*******

- Next we see Storm Shadow training the new recruits. That's more like it. I'd rather learn ninja skills than rowdy biker guy skills any day. Storm Shadow tries to teach them balance but as they attempt to copy him, the fat guy falls and knocks down the other two. As they lie on the ground, it makes me wonder if the animator drew the scene as sexually as possible on purpose.

("You must have perfect balance. Do as I do.")

(Fat Cobra Recruit Has Good Extension)

(Oops!)

(This Is Not What It Looks Like)
*******

- When Storm Shadow tells them to try again, the fat Cobra recruit says, "That's impossible. We can't do that." Hey fat Cobra guy...Storm Shadow can do it, so it is possible. Your fat ass just can't do it. There's a difference.

("That's impossible. We can't do that.")
*******

- The Dreadnoks call the recruits "storks" for trying to balance on one leg, and Ripper says, "If you want to learn some real tricks, follow us." Uh Ripper? Being a terrorist takes more than tricks. Tricks might work for a crazy laser rifle wielding biker dude, but if you want to compete with GI Joe, you need real training. I guess that's why Cobra never wins. They have idiots training the new recruits. (Except for Storm Shadow...he rules)

("If you want to learn some real tricks, follow us.")
*******

- The recruits do indeed follow the Dreadnoks and are just as amazed at their skills as they were at Storm Shadow's. Buzzer cuts a tanks tracks with his chainsaw, Ripper rips the tank open with his ridiculously huge bayonette, and then Torch breaks a third law of physics with his flamethrower. In a matter of seconds, he completely melts a freaking tank with his flamethrower. HE MELTS A TANK! The flames must be hotter than the sun and yet only the tank is affected. It stands to reason that if it was really hot enough to melt a tank, then trees would spontaneously combust and the Cobras would all catch fire. But not even the flamethrower is affected. How is Cobra losing with weapons like that? Torch claims that with their weapons, the Dreadnoks are unbeatable. Somehow they always get their asses kicked anyways. Go figure.

(Buzzer Does His Thing)

(Ripper Rips Open The Tank Like A Sardine Can)

(Torch Demonstrates His Awesome Weapon)

(The Tank Melts In Mere Seconds)
*******

- As the Dreadnoks gloat, Storm Shadow says the best ninja quote of all time: "Anyone can use a weapon, but a ninja is a weapon." When I heard this as a kid, I wrote it on my bedroom door. (I was big into the ninja craze in the 80's. I bought a real-life ninja uniform and everything. I even learned real skills that allowed me to infiltrate office buildings and hospitals at night just to sneak around all stealthily past all the security guards and night janitors. I'd tell myself, "I could kill them if I wanted to. But I don't want to." I am not even kidding. If I hadn't gotten so fat, I'd still be doing this today. I never used my ninja skills for evil and I never stole anything. Getting away with "stealthing and entering" was my only reward.) Storm Shadow shows his skills by hitting the tank in 4 places, after which it completely flies apart into at least 50 pieces (counting the rivets). After this awesome display, the recruits wisely decide to learn from Storm Shadow.

("Anyone can use a weapon, but a ninja is a weapon.")

(Ninja Awesomeness Is Displayed)

(The Recruits Recognize Real Skill)
*******

- Destro and Cobra Commander have a discussion about Storm Shadow and Destro calls the Dreadnoks useless. Then he calls Zartan "their sniveling master". But as they go inside, Cobra Commander tells Destro that "Zartan and the Dreadnoks are far more loyal and valuable" to him than Destro is. When Destro questions this, it is revealed that Destro was actually talking to Zartan in disguise. Ooo burn!

(Cobra Commander & Destro Discuss Storm Shadow, Zartan, & The Dreadnoks)

("Very convincing, Zartan.")

("Who plays the fool now, Destro?")
*******

- As the Dreadnoks follow orders to capture some French guy named Dr Mentier (pronounced men-tee-ay), Torch comes up behind the car and then just launches over it without any kind of ramp or Turbo Boost or anything. He didn't even jump using the car. That's really stupid.

(Torch Launches Over A Car)
*******

- The Dreadnoks herd their quarry into an alley in order to lead him into their hidden location. But even though the secret entrance is disguised by dumpsters and garbage, the 2 big doors are plainly visible.

(Hidden Doors...Sort Of.)

*******

- Zartan enters the World Wide Defense Center parking garage disguised as that French guy, Dr Mentier. He has to stop at the first of two security checkpoints and insert an identification card and then have his hand scanned. He is successful. Once inside, Storm Shadow drops from some overhead pipes to meet up with him. Zartan says, "The rendezvous inside the building." and Storm Shadow heads inside. Zartan has to go through the second of two security checkpoints and be scanned for weapons to get in, which he succeeds in doing, but obviously Storm Shadow has a better plan because he avoids all that crap with his ninja skills.

(Security Checkpoint 1)

(Insert Identification)

(Place Hand On Scanner)

("Thank you, Dr Mentier. Enter.")

(Storm Shadow Is Waiting Inside)

("The rendezvous inside the building." says Zartan)

(Security Checkpoint 2)

(Scanned For Weapons)

(Zartan Is In)
*******

- The French guy, Dr Mentier (Zartan in disguise) arrives at the secret rendezvous, which is in the middle of a hallway instead of some broom closet or bathroom which would make more sense. Storm Shadow comes jumping out of an air duct and gives Zartan a bomb. But Spirit is suspicious of the French guy and follows him, and catches them in the act. What I don't understand is why they just didn't have Storm Shadow do the job. He obviously needed no disguise, didn't have to go through security of any kind, and was able to travel through the air ducts (with the bomb on his back and all of his weapons) undetected. He was never seen until this moment when he came out of the air duct. I'm sure he would have remained in the air duct until he reached the target location, the Back-Up Control Room, if he was in charge of planting the bomb. Dr Mentier (Zartan in disguise) escapes down a corridor as Spirit confronts Storm Shadow. We see this from inside the air duct which obviously goes in the same direction that Zartan went. Storm Shadow would never have dropped down here if he had been doing the job. Now their cover is blown. Luckily Storm Shadow kicks Spirit's ass, allowing Zartan to plant the bomb.

(Secret Rendezvous)

("Give Me The Bomb." says Zartan)

(Busted By Spirit)

(Zartan Escapes With The Bomb)

(The Bomb Is Activated)
*******

- The Dreadnoks are ordered to guard the prisoners (Spirit and that French guy, Dr Mentier) so they decide to torture them instead by flooding their cell with laughing gas. I'm assuming that they are using nitrous oxide, but I could be wrong. Nitrous never actually made me laugh like a madman but maybe it has that effect on some people. Anyways, one of the Dreadnoks makes the comment that they will laugh themselves to death. I don't think that really happens. I know if you laugh to the point of hyperventilating, you can pass out and I suspect that's what would happen here. Maybe the overexposure to the nitrous oxide at that point would kill the prisoners, but it wouldn't really be laughing themselves to death. What kind of a sick bastard wants to kill somebody with laughter anyways? (I'm pretty sure The Joker has a patent on that method of murder.)

("They'll Laugh Themselves To Death!")

(Laughing Like Madmen)

(On The Verge Of A Laughing Death)

*******

- Spirit decides that he can't wait any longer for his friends to rescue them, so he decides to just break out of the cell he was in. Seems he had a secret knife hidden in his headband the whole time. He prays that the spirits of his fathers will guide his hand and then throws the knife at the control panel from far inside the cell. Instead of trying to get closer in an attempt to better his odds, he just throws from where he is. The knife flies straight and true and hits the control panel. Everyone knows that when you short circuit a control panel, all doors and locks open automatically.

(The Guards Are Gone & Spirit Has A Hidden Weapon)

("Spirits of my fathers, guide my hand.")

(No Need To Get Any Closer)

(Just Throw From Where You Are)

(Success!)

(Escape!)
*******

- Doc goes to check on Zartan and finds his cell empty. What Doc seems to have forgotten is that Zartan can become invisible by blending in to his surroundings like a chameleon. It's his whole freaking gimmick! Every Joe would have been briefed on that as soon as Zartan became a serious threat to them. But Doc is amazed that Zartan is gone and in that moment, Zartan makes his move and takes Doc out with the world famous Vulcan Nerve Pinch. Apparently Mister Spock taught that move to Zartan at some point.

("Where Could Zartan Be?")

(Vulcan Nerve Pinch!)
*******

- Spirit fires 2 missiles at the camouflage netting and it freaking explodes. That doesn't happen. Does that happen? I know missiles explode, but can camouflaged netting trigger a missile to explode?

(Spirit Steals A Rattler)

(Two Missiles Should Do The Trick)

(Success!)

*******

- Cobra Commander is shot down and as he falls, he grabs onto the strut of Destro's Fang. But at that angle, he would have had to fall through the rotor blades. He is lucky to be alive. Most people would have been killed by the blades but he passed between them unscathed.

(Cobra Commander Falls...)

(...And Grabs The Strut Of Destro's Fang! He Is One Lucky Bastard!)
*******

In closing, I have to say that I was a huge fan of GI Joe when I was a kid, and I still am. These shows are a major part of my childhood, as were the toys. My intention is not to convince you that the show isn't real because of the things pointed out, but instead to poke fun at the twisted logic and flawed physics that the GI Joe show feeds to children. I never saw these things as a kid and just bought into the craziness of the show. When it comes down to it, this is just a cartoon. But now I enjoy the show in a different way by laughing at the sheer violation of nature's physical laws and the illogical plots and characters. It's still a great show to me, but in a whole new way.

(Regis Emsti is a 42 year old non-virgin who gets laid anytime he wants, which goes against all laws of physics because he is a huge toy nerd.)

You Go, I Go, We All Go For Mego!

2011-07-07T00:02:00.001-07:00

(Remember to click on the images for a better look)
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Who doesn't like Batman? I know all of my friends like him. I have never had a friend say, "I hate Batman. He's stupid and fake!" Well here is an ad that features "Batmania"! Just look at all the retro coolness of these toys. I always wanted to order that Utility Belt but never did. I bet it was loaded with fun. That Bat-Plane is pretty cool too. But the best thing on this page is the group of Mego action figures for sale. I LOVE Megos. Batman and Spider-Man were always my favorites. I wish Mego's were still $3.79 each. I'd buy them all. I'd even buy that Green Arrowcar. How cool would that be? I think if I could order any one of those Megos right now, only one, I'd buy Shazam. Or maybe Aquaman. I know Aquaman is kinda lame compared to other Super-Heroes, but I really like him and I still don't have a Mego of him. Yet. One of these days I'll pick one up in the Marketplace at the Mego Museum. Someday.

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This next ad is pretty cool. Once again the Megos dominate. If I could buy any one of the Megos here it would be Lizard. No contest. Why? Because I really want one. I guess I better watch the Marketplace. But beneath the Megos are Superhero Statues. My brother used to buy them at Ben's Discount Liquor back in the 70's. I remember he had all of the statues pictured in this ad. Of course he used to cut the stands off of their feet and then customize them by cutting their respective weapons off and then melting their arms a little so he could re-pose them in a better fighting stance. I have to give my brother the credit for my love of customizing action figures.

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The next ad (from Amazing Spider-Man #201, page 14) is my favorite of this post. I just love the artwork, primitive as it may be. The price has gone up on the Megos here, but there is a greater selection. I also really like the way "Mego" is written. Very cool. Below the Megos we see some more awesome utility belts. This time we can see Spidey, Hulk, Batman, and Wonder Woman utility belts are available. And one of the coolest things in this ad is that Spider-Man ski mask. I would have LOVED to have owned that. I'd like to have one now. I'd be awesome every winter with my cool Spider-Man ski mask. I'd wear it. I'm not kidding.

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Finally (from Amazing Spider-Man #183, page 14) we have this nice ad featuring, you guessed it, Megos! I'm pretty sure everything in this ad, except for the Superhero Carry Case, is made by Mego. I like this ad. The way the heroes seem to be leaping from the carry case is very cool. Plus the selection is great. You can even get Isis & Speedy! If I ever get a time machine...

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For More Information On Mego Corp. Toys, Check Out The Mego Museum! A Nice Place To Visit, A Great Place To Stay! Galleries! Forum! Library! CustoMego!

Fun With Iron Man

2011-07-07T00:00:00.000-07:00

(Remember to click on the images for a larger view)
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Let me start by saying that I like Iron Man. I have always liked Iron Man. I even liked to movie starring Robert Downey Jr. I poke fun at the things I like just as much as I mock the things I don't like.

In this first image we see Iron Man (who was immortalized in plastic by Mego Corp. in the 1970's) pulling apart a steel girder with his awesomeness. Problem is, steel doesn't tear like that. I don't know exactly how steel tears, but I don't think it tears like caramel.
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Okay here's where we start to spiral down into the depths of my damaged psyche. When I first saw the next image I could have sworn Iron Man was in the stirrups at a gynecologists office. It even looked like Pepper was tossing away used latex gloves at first. I wonder how his exam went? Does he have an iron yeast infection? And why is Pepper making that face? Did Iron Man forget to clean his cave of wonders before the appointment? Come on, Stark! Show some consideration! Nobody wants to smell your rotten metal!
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Nothing says Merry Christmas like Super-Heroes. I remember receiving Super-Heroes on more than one Christmas. I'm sure many of you have similar memories. I have always liked this ad with Iron Man wearing an armored Santa jacket & hat. I'd like to have a custom Mego like this.
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The final image is my favorite. Many Iron Man fans know of Tony Stark's drinking problem. Well here we see Iron Man smashing through a wall with a loud "KRUNK!" as if to announce his problem to his enemies. Like it's his battle cry. Just imagine he's flying towards the wall like a fucking madman and then BOOM! KRUNK! I bet he's bombed right now. Put down the bottle, Tony! You have to fight crime! You can't be all "krunk"* when you go into battle! Look at his mask. He's flying in more ways than one. Plus he's talking about "regaining consciousness in the midst of a hornet's nest". I'm sure it's not the strangest thing you've found yourself regaining consciousness in, Mr. Stark. Maybe after this battle is over, Tony Stark really will get "krunk". But he's probably "krunk" right now.
(*FYI crazy + drunk = crunk; or krunk in this instance.)
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